


Losing All Your Senses

by notaguitarfret



Series: "They're all girlfriends" AU [21]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, PTSD, Past Rape/Non-con, bulimia reference, r-slur, there's fluff at the end i swear, though someone almost died in this fic and tbh should have died
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 15:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21283649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaguitarfret/pseuds/notaguitarfret
Summary: You'd think Heather Chandler would know to not go to another Remington party after last time.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Heather McNamara, Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Veronica Sawyer, Heather McNamara/Heather Duke, Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer
Series: "They're all girlfriends" AU [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1053590
Comments: 20
Kudos: 230





	Losing All Your Senses

**Author's Note:**

> pretty sure all CWs are in the tags, so just be warn, this chapter is pretty heavy during the climax.

_ “Sorry, girls. Break’s over.” _

That’s what Heather had said to the group nearing of the first week of the Christmas Holiday, followed by Veronica’s confused,

_ “We still have one week to go, Heather.” _

Unfortunately, Heather was not in fact mistaken. By a break, she’d meant a break from being a Heather, and that same night - _ tonight _ \- Veronica had found herself in a party yet again. Granted, it was fairly small compared to the many she had experienced, so it wasn’t _ that _ much of a bother. She could guess it was the preppy kids’ last minute attempt at a Christmas party with how small it seemed.

She will say, though, she liked the lucky dip so far.

“Oh hey, a nail filer,” she said, looking at the third item she’d pulled out of the shredded paper. “I already have one, though,” she added, stepped over to Chandler, who patiently waited near the end of the line.

“Trust me, I _ know _,” she replied in a low voice. Veronica gave a sultry smirk.

“That’s a shame. I was hoping to give you a reminder.”

She heard Heather’s breathing hitch, and she watched with amusement as her expression took a moment to relax.

“Hey, ‘Ronica, maybe don’t try and turn me on in someone else’s house.”

“Hmm, well then I will occupy myself with giving this to someone.” She tapped the nail filer. “Do you want it?”

Chandler said nothing, only raised her very sharp acrylic nails. Veronica pursed her lips.

“Is that a no?”

She nodded. “Heather may want it though. I know she likes nail filers.”

“Alright, I’ll go find her.” She looked around the room, and while she couldn’t find Duke, she did spot Mara pouring herself some punch. “Hey, Mara!” she called as she scurried across the room over to her. “Have you seen Heather? Or is she busy with a guy.”

She saw some sort of alertness appear in her eyes.

“What? No! She went to the bathroom.”

“Oh, neat.” She lifted the nail filer. “I was just gonna give her this. I got it in the lucky dip, but I don’t need it, so-”

Before she could finish, Mara snatched the filer out of her hands and shoved it in her bra.

“I’ll have it.”

Veronica raised a brow. “Oh, alright.” She glanced at the drinks on the table but ultimately decided on grabbing a single nacho to take a bite out of. “So, how have you been since I last saw you?”

“You last saw me about fifteen minutes ago.”

“I mean, in terms of days.”

“_ Oh. _” She paused. “You last saw me yesterday.”

“Still! How was your little sleepover with Heather?”

As she took a sip from her cup, she let out a little giggle.

“Interesting,” she said with a grin. Veronica tilted her head, curious.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She’ll tell you at some point.”

Veronica’s curiosity was piqued, but she decided to question no further as her attention was drawn to Duke, who had appeared behind her.

“Hey, how is there _ already _ vomit on the toilet?” she grumbled as she walked around her and stopped by Mara’s side. “It’s only been a few hours.”

“Keith and Courtney _ were _ chugging drinks before,” Veronica pointed out.

“And from what I’ve heard in my former cheerleading meetings, Courtney tends to not eat before parties,” Mara added.

“Ah. Explains it,” Duke said.

A fourth pair of heels could be heard, and Veronica soon found Chandler standing by her side.

“I hope you all have clear schedules for New Years Eve,” she said.

“Mhmm,” Duke replied.

“Yeah,” Mara said.

“Why?” Veronica asked with suspicion. Though, she couldn’t quite catch her eye.

“So turns out we aren’t actually banned from Remington University,” she said. Her tone sounded casual, but her eyes were flickering around a little bit too much. “In fact, we were just invited to their New Years party, so-”

“That’s not happening,” Duke cut in. Chandler’s shoulders slumped.

“Why not?”

“_ Why not? _ Don’t you remember how much of a disaster last time was?”

Chandler’s gaze darkened. “Yes, I in fact do.” She tilted her chin up. “You really think _ that’s _ enough to deter us?”

“Well, actually… yes,” Mara said. “It was a big disaster. Why would you want to go back?”

Chandler pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Look. These parties are a _ privilege _ , okay? It wouldn’t paint a good image for us if we passed up the opportunity.” She looked around at the group, and was met with unconvinced, unchanging faces. She groaned. “God, you guys have to remember how shitty the following week was after that night, right? Do you _ want _ a repeat of that?”

Duke and Mara both went quiet, with Mara looking as though she were considering her options, whilst Duke just scowled at the ground.

Meanwhile, Veronica only stared at Chandler with a serious glare. Eventually, Chandler noticed and frowned at her.

“What’s that look for?”

Veronica rolled her eyes, before grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away, until they were standing in an empty corridor. Heather pulled away, crossed her arms and leaned against the wall at her hip.

“_ What? _” she snapped. Veronica shot her a stern look.

“You _ know _ what!”

Heather’s nose wrinkled slightly as she looked away, giving no response.

“Heather,” Veronica sighed, her voice softening. “You know you don’t have to go back there, don’t you?”

“_ Yes, _” she fired back. “Of course I know that.”

“And… you’re okay with going back?” She looked around the dark hallway, and in seeing no one around, she stepped closer to her to take her hands in her own. “There’s no shame in not going.”

Heather’s mouth twitched. “There kinda is, ‘Ronica.” She looked up at her with clouded eyes. “I doubt many other people would take too kindly to us not going, especially after last time.”

Veronica gave her a sympathetic look.“You need to do what’s best for _ you _,” she said, her hands tightening their grip. “You were very shaken the night I went with you. I can’t imagine what it was like the other time.”

Heather inhaled deeply. “I’m not going to let some bad experiences govern where I want to go. I’m better than that.”

Veronica frowned.

“You really don’t have to, Heather.”

“I’ve already made up my mind.” She straightened herself up confidently. “Look, we’ll be fine. If we go, we can reverse the damage we did last time, and have one less thing keeping us up at night.”

“I’m kept up at night no matter what.”

“You know what I mean.”

The two of them paused when they heard two pairs of footsteps turn the corner. Mara and Duke both stepped into the dark.

“Hey, if you’re going, I don’t mind going either,” Mara said, offering a smile to Heather. “I’ll try not to break a bone this time.”

Chandler gave a half-smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it goes as smoothly as you can imagine.” She turned her head to Duke hopefully.

Soon enough, she let out a long sigh.

“I’ll get a dress ready,” she grumbled. “But if this ends badly, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“It won’t,” she assured her.

* * *

“But say if something _ does _ happen,” Chandler said as she brushed Mac’s blonde hair, curling it around at the ends. “Don’t hesitate to come and find me.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Chandy,” Mac replied. “Maybe everyone’s forgotten about what happened last time by now.”

Chandler bit her lip, feeling nothing but doubt.

“It wasn’t that long ago,” she mumbled. “I know I wasn’t there, but from what you and Heather told me, you made quite a scene.”

Mac glanced at her over her shoulder to give her a sheepish smile.

“I guess you could say that,” she said. “But this is a frat party. A lot of things happen!”

Chandler finished brushing her hair and curling the ends, and let her hands drop onto her thighs. “I know, but-”

She was cut off by two hands cupping her cheeks. She stiffened a little in feeling those palms pressed against the frame of her face, the sensation reminding her of a… slightly different scenario.

“Heather, we’ll be fine!” Mac reassured her with a smile. A very cute, supportive smile. “Heather’s just worried that I’ll break another bone.”

“But that’s just it,” Chandler grumbled. “She kind of has a right to be worried. _ You broke a fucking bone. _ ”

Mac shrugged. “It was just my nose. Besides…” A mischievous smirk began to twist her smile, and her voice grew quieter, despite there being no one else in the room. “I will admit, the fight was actually kinda fun.”

Chandler raised a brow, both surprised and entertained by her friend’s odd taste in ‘fun’.

“Are you saying you’d happily get into another fight if you had the chance?” she teased, bumping into her shoulder playfully. Definitely not to gain any more physical contact.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” she said with a smile. “But… um…” The corners of her mouth dropped.

“What?”

“Are you going to be okay?” A hand found her own. “Just because of what happened last time-”

Before Mac was able to squeeze her hand, Chandler rolled her eyes and stood up from the bed, escaping her grip. “First Veronica, and now you,” she muttered. “I’ll be fine, Heather. You should have more faith in me.”

“It’s just… last time you-”

“I’ll be _ fine _,” she insisted. “I won’t even be ditching the group this time.”

Mac scratched the back of her head. “You make a good point.”

Just then, the door to her room swung open, revealing both Duke and Veronica, attached by the hip, dolled up and ready to go. Duke had chosen to wear the red dress she had bought her, whilst Veronica wore the same outfit that she had worn to the last Remington party; she wasn’t feeling all that creative, nor did Heather mind. She looked stunning in it, and she had a feeling that most of her night would be just… staring at her.

That was fine by her. She’d rather do that than look around the fucking building. Nothing else was as pleasant to look at than her.

Then again, Mac did look rather pretty in her bright yellow dress that clung to her wide hips. She wouldn’t mind gazing in her direction either-

_ Heather, _ please _ , don’t let those stupid dreams get to your head, _ she scolded herself. _ So what if Mac is pretty! So is Duke. See? Heather looks _ great _ in that red dress. She chose well. _

She frowned.

_ Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better about this. _

“Guys, look, Heather did my hair!” Veronica exclaimed, pointing to a braid that clung to one side of her hair, whilst the other, fluffy as ever, flowed freely.

“It looks adorable!” Mac squealed, running up to her, giving a tiny hop and planted a light kiss on her nose. Veronica giggled sweetly in response, her cheeks flushing a pinkish colour. “You did a great job, Dewdrop.”

Chandler, Duke and Veronica all paused to stare at Mac, with Veronica and Chandler having to hold back their snickers, whilst Duke just stood there with wide eyes and her face growing darker.

“I’m _ sorry? _ ” Chandler cackled. “ _ That’s _ a new one.”

“I like it,” Veronica said through her giggles. “It’s cute.”

“It’s horribly sappy,” Duke grumbled, crossing her arms. Mac shrugged.

“It suits you,” she said with a smile, patting her on the shoulder. Duke gave a flustered huff, before changing the topic.

“So are we ready? Should we get going?”

“We’d be pretty early,” Chandler pointed out. “I didn’t think you’d be so eager to go.”

“I’m not,” she replied dryly. “But I… need to get there a bit earlier than usual.”

Chandler arched a brow, curious. “Why’s that?”

“I’m hoping you’ll find out in a few hours.”

She pouted, her impatience already being set off.

“_ Fine, _” she muttered. “If everyone’s ready, let’s motor.”

The group all silently agreed, and followed her out of her house and to her car. They all hopped in, this time Veronica in the front rather than Mac, and quickly began the twenty minute journey.

Despite her driving being speedy and taking her to her destination fast, Heather could feel something build up in her stomach the closer they got. A sense of dread weighing her down, causing great discomfort that only grew worse as time went on. With each five minutes that past, she felt more and more nauseous, and when the twenty minutes were up and the car was parked outside the building, with faint music and loud chatter being heard from a distance, she was sure she might vomit.

“Heather.”

She fluttered her lashes and looked forward, realising that Veronica’s hand was gently pressed against hers, which she hadn’t realised were so tense. Her knuckles were white and her red nails threatened to shred the wheel’s surface. She quickly let them relax and tried to return Veronica’s gaze with a calm stare. It was clearly unconvincing though, as while Mac and Duke clambered out their seats in the back, Veronica gazed at her seriously, her eyes glistening in the street lights.

“It’s not too late to back out,” she murmured, her hand around hers tightening. Chandler bit her lip, glancing up at the building and honestly considering calling back the group and skidding off into the night. Somehow, though, horrid, horrid memories just weren’t enough to deter her.

“I’m okay,” she reassured her. “Seriously. Stop worrying,” she told her more firmly, taking hold of her chin and tilting it up slightly. “I’m a big girl. I can handle a lot.”

The corners of Veronica’s eyes creased, but she said no more. She just gave a nod and climbed out of the car.

Chandler followed close behind the group, lingering at the back for a while, up until they reached the top of the steps and were at the open doors. All of a sudden she was at the front, Veronica at her side. She was hit with a wave of smoke, and her immediate thought was to glance back to Mac, who had been smart enough to hold her breath. She could tell with how stiff her shoulders were.

Soon enough they were inside, stepping into the main room. The sense of familiarity that Chandler felt made her stomach churn, but she pushed it down desperately.

Or at least, she tried to.

“Look who it is.”

She internally groaned at the familiar voice, and in side-glancing at Veronica, she could tell her girlfriend was thinking the same. As they both turned their heads towards David, they both scowled.

“So, you decided to show your faces here once more, did you?” he sneered, any faux-politeness he may have previously had completely disappearing. Chandler couldn’t be entirely sure about the lust, though. His eyes still slithered up and down the two of them with some strange mixture of disdain and attraction. Heather grabbed her own hand to stop it from shaking uncontrollably.

“What do you want, asshole?” Veronica spoke up, also subtly shuffling closer to Heather as she did so. “Do you want anymore of your teeth punched out of your gums?”

He rolled his eyes. “Your little cheerleader friend caught me off guard last time. That isn’t going to happen again.”

“I hope so!” a chippy voice joined in from behind them, before pushing her way between Chandler and Veronica. Mac stared up at him, seemingly with no fear. Just an admirable burst of confidence that made Chandler’s heart melt.

“Not that I’d mind. It’s just… lately I was kicked off the cheerleading team, and I’m still pretty mad about it. I doubt you’d want to become my punching bag, now, would you?”

David had fallen completely silent at her appearance. Any confidence radiating from him before had evaporated, replaced by nervous shifting.

“Have a nice night,” is all he muttered, before scurrying off like a terrified weasel. Chandler felt a smile stretch across her face.

“You’re so intimidating,” she joked, leaning one arm on Mac’s shoulder.

“Terrifying little Mara,” Veronica added with a laugh, and the group let themselves move forward again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said with a chuckle. “I’m just an innocent cheerleader from Westerburg High.”

“Both of those pre-modifiers are incorrect,” Duke said, pushing forward to walk beside Mac and smiling fondly at her. She then turned towards Veronica and gave her a nudge. “Now, you wanna come with me?”

Veronica tilted her head. “Already?”

“We need to do it as early as possible.”

“Do_ what? _” Chandler asked, only to get no answer. Heather just simple placed a hand on Mac.

“Sorry, Heather. I’m stealing your girl for a moment,” she said with a quiet voice. “You two just keep each other’s company until we get back.”

Mac and Chandler shared a confused look, but could ask no more as Veronica and Duke had quickly ran off towards the bar, both snickering to each other. Chandler just gave a shrug, before leading Mac to a free place at the bar.

“Do you have any idea what they’re doing?” Chandler asked her.

“No clue.”

Chandler sighed as she sat on a stool. “Alright, what drink do you want?” She then paused for a moment. “Wait, no, let me try and guess.”

She leaned forward, towards Mac grinning up at her and batting her lashes. Chandler itched her chin.

“Hmm… beer? Flavoured beer?”

“Which flavour?”

She bit her lip. “Lemon?”

She shook her head. “Think sweeter.”

“Um… oh, banana bread?”

“Yeah!” she nodded with a warm smile. “You got it.”

“Didn’t take me long.” She shoved her hand into her blazer pockets and pulled out a few dollars.

“Heather, you don’t need to pay for me-”

“Shush, I can pay for whoever I want,” she snarked. Mac shrugged.

“Alright then.”

They caught the attention of the bartender, asked for their order, and while they both waited for it to be poured, the two of them turned towards Veronica and Duke, who were stalking around the different groups of guys also sitting around the bar, looking very, very conspicuous. At least, they did to them, since they both side-eyed each other with confusion. They watched as they would sneak around them, doing their best not to draw too much attention, but what exactly they were doing, Chandler still couldn’t figure out. All she knew was that it was something mischievous, with how they both shot each other shifty looks.

“Here you go, ladies,” the bartender caught their attention again, and Chandler nodded a thank you to him, before sliding it over to Mac.

“Have you noticed something?” Mac asked as she took her first sip. Chandler furrowed her brow.

“Noticed what?”

“We haven’t had any guys bother us yet,” she said, glancing around the room. Chandler gazed at the empty space around them thoughtfully, before shrugging it off.

“We’re early. Not every sleezebag has arrived yet.”

“I suppose,” she sighed. “Hopefully this’ll keep up for the rest of the night.”

“I’m sure it will.” She rested her chin on her hand. “Because I won’t lie, I think you may have built up a reputation around here.” She smirked. Mac blinked, eyes rounding.

“You think so?” She glanced nervously at the other students. “Is that a good thing?”

“I would say so,” she said. “You’re probably known for being able to punch a college dude’s teeth out. I’d call that a victory.”

Mac beamed, looking as though she was bursting with pride, and the gleeful smile caused some weird feelings in Chandler’s chest to swell. Yes, she knew what the name for those feelings were, and no, she was not about to use them. Not even in her head.

_ This isn’t like how it was with Veronica, _ she reminded herself. _ You can’t do this. Not with your best friend. You _ only just _ got her back, for fuck’s sake. _

“Alright, we’re back.”

Chandler jumped at the sound of Duke’s voice behind her. Swivelling around on her seat, she eyed the pair suspiciously.

“Am I going to find out what you both did?”

Veronica and Duke shared a cheeky grin.

“Maybe later,” Duke said. “Or at least, I hope so.” She looked off elsewhere and stifled a giggle.

“Now,” Veronica announced, darting over to a stool next to Mac and hopping onto it eagerly, her fists making a noticeable thunk on the counter. “Give me a cup of this. I’ll race you to the bottom of the glass.” She gestured to Mac’s drink, and Mac chuckled.

“Do you like flavoured beer?”

Veronica’s shoulders slumped, and she looked at the bartender with a panicked look.

“Uhh, make sure it’s just plain beer,” she clarified, and soon enough, the two of them had full glasses in front of them, counted down from three, and began to chug as fast as they could. Chandler watched them both fondly, amused by their antics.

“Heather?”

She managed to break her dazed look at the pair to look back at Heather, who was eyeing the room suspiciously.

“What?”

“Did you just see that?” She squinted and pointed towards somewhere in the crowd. Chandler followed her gesture, but saw nothing but laughing college kids, whose numbers had clearly risen since they first got here. Time was moving pretty fast.

“No? See what?”

Duke frowned. “I saw Brad lurking around. He gave Emmy an odd look.” Worrisome, she bit down on her lip. “You don’t think he’s gonna try anything, do you?”

Chandler rolled her eyes. “So long as we stay in a group, he can’t do shit.” She rested her head on her palm. “We may be highschoolers, but we’re not completely helpless. Hell, you two survived by yourselves.”

“With some injuries.”

She rolled her eyes. “That won’t happen again. Besides,” she glanced at her swatch. It was close to 8pm. “Soon enough everyone’s gonna be outside, or at least gathered around a clock of some sort.” She leaned over a bit. “I know Remington parties aren’t your thing, but trust me, their fireworks can be pretty impressive.” She gave an amused huff. “Granted, they’re nothing spectacular. It’s just fun watching a bunch of college students trying to figure out how half of them work.” She snickered. “You know a kid got hit in the stomach by one because it wasn’t placed in the ground right? Classic.”

“Are we going to watch these fireworks?”

“Obviously.”

“Well then we better be standing at the back.”

“No worries. No one will get hurt.” She patted her on the shoulder.

“If you say so.”

* * *

It was about 10pm or so when a painful sensation began to continuously stab Heather in the stomach area.

“Fuck,” she groaned, rubbing her abdomen. “Is my dress too tight?”

“What’s the matter?” Mac asked.

“I have stomach pains,” she muttered.

“Are you hungry? Because if so, that’s some relatable content right there.”

“_ No, _ Heather,” she snapped, “I literally just had some chocolate.” She tried to think what it could possibly be, and why it was being a stubborn little bitch and not going away, until her brain decided to wake up and was able to recognise the sensation.

“Wait… Heather, what date is it?”

“Uh… New Years Eve, you dumba-”

“_ Shit! _” Her heart dropped. Without saying another word, she grabbed her bag from the floor and searched through it vigorously, but found none of what she needed. “God, stupid forgetful fuck,” she scolded herself, before looking up at Duke. “Do you have any pads or tampons?”

Duke stared at her blankly. It didn’t take that long for Chandler to click on.

“Right.” She turned to Mac and Veronica. “Do either of you have a pad or tampon? Preferably tampon. Pads are uncomfortable.”

“I’m on the pill, Heather,” Veronica replied, giving a sympathetic look. “Sorry.”

“Hold on, let me check,” Mac said, placing her bag on her lap and rummaging through it. Chandler tapped her foot on the stool impatiently, picturing her uterus deciding to show no mercy in the first few minutes and spitting out its load all at once, right where she sat.

“Oh, here!” Mac finally said, holding a tampon in her hand. Chandler wordlessly snatched it out her hand as soon as she lifted it up, grabbed her hand and began to guide her to the bathroom.

“Come on, emergency trip.”

“Wait, why am I coming?”

“No one’s allowed to split up, remember?”

Behind her, she heard Veronica call,

“You want us to come with?”

“We’ll be right back, it’s fine!” she yelled back, before shoving herself through every tiny gap between students she could find to cut down her journey to the bathroom as much as she could.

Unfortunately for her, when arriving at the bathroom, there was already a long queue outside. Fuck.

“Oh, we may have to wait a while,” Mac said.

“Are you _ kidding? _ For all I know, blood could be flowing out my vag and dripping all over the place and I’d have _ no idea. _”

Mac gazed up at her, expression a little twisted with disgust. “You’d… probably notice the dripping part.”

Chandler sighed. “By then, it would be too late.”

“You know, there’s a disabled toilet a bit further down the corridor.” A girl in the queue had seemingly overheard her worries, and was nice enough to point in the direction of the toilet that would more likely to be free.

“Oh, thank God,” she breathed, before dragging Mac down the hallway. Luckily there was no queue, though she did have to wait until the person in there was finished.

“I’ll be two minutes,” she told Mac, before rushing into the bathroom.

“I’ll be here,” Mac said, just before she closed the door.

* * *

Heather’s mind was wandering elsewhere; the music playing from down the corridor kept her ears occupied, while her eyes would trace the patterns on the carpet over and over again, going in a different direction each time. She calmly tapped the wall behind her, occasionally running her fingers over the ribbed wallpaper.

“Hey, are you Heather?”

She jumped at the sudden unfamiliar voice, and looked to her side to see a stranger looking at her calmly.

“Yeah… one of them,” she told her with uncertainty. “Why?”

“Someone just told me there’s like… an emergency with your friends? I dunno. Their names are Veronica and Heather, right?” She shrugged. “Apparently it’s urgent.”

Panic suddenly flooded through her. “Emergency?” she echoed. “What type of-”

“I dunno! I’m just the messenger,” she said with a shrug. “But yeah, um, I was told to tell you to meet them at the roof?”

“The _ roof? _ ”

“You can take the elevator if you don’t wanna take the stairs,” she said. “But I suggest you go, like, now. It sounded urgent.”

Heather glanced at the bathroom. “I… I was just waiting for a friend-”

“I’ll just tell her where you went, it’s fine.”

Heather nodded. “Thanks.” She took a step forward. “Uh, which way’s the elevator?”

“There’s two sets. Closest one is the shittier elevator next to the fire exit stairs.” She pointed down the corridor, opposite to where she and Heather had come from.

“Well… okay, thanks.” She spun around and hurried down the corridor, taking one turn before she found a set of stairs that looked as though they hadn’t been cleaned in over a year, and surely enough, next to it was an unappealing elevator. She sighed and pressed the button, impatiently waiting for the door to open, while her brain would try and think up what could possibly be the ‘emergency’.

Eventually there was a dinging noise, and the doors opened.

The elevator was empty when she stepped in, and it picked up no one on its way up. That was fine, it made the journey quicker. Just a lot more silent. No sound but the suspicious creaking of the old elevator.

The button stopped glowing when she got to the roof. She stepped out into a small room, with hefty looking doors in front of her that would lead outside. Through the slim windows, all she saw was the dark night sky and the top of the fence surrounding the ledge of the building.

The eerie silence was strong enough to set a churning sense of dread in her stomach, slowing down each of her steps towards the door. The only thing she could hear was her mind telling her to _ turn back around _. There was always the possibility of that girl making shit up.

But she _ had _ named her friends correctly, and she was already here. She might as well check.

She pushed the door open, the cold air hitting her face as soon as she did. She immediately wished she had brought her jacket with her, but it was too late to go back now.

She took a few more steps forward. No one was up here. There were some benches and tables, a few beer cans scattered around them messily. That’s it.

Confusion set in, as well as a sense of fear. She glanced around, and saw no one.

“What the fuck?” she muttered out loud, clouds from her breath clouding her vision for a moment.

And in that very brief moment, a hand slammed on her mouth, muting her scream.

* * *

“Okay, there was no leakage, but it came very close,” Heather said as she stepped out the bathroom. Only, when she did, she was met with silence. She paused.

“Mac?” She looked around the corridor, which was totally empty. “What… _ Mac! _”

Anxiety was quick to fill her when she got no response, and she saw no one resembling her friend. Hell, there was no one in the fucking _ corridor. _

“No, no, _ shit. _ ” She swallowed down her worry in an attempt to calm herself down, but her mind was already racing. As she stumbled towards the main party again, she’d be cursed with flashes of when she’d lost her the _ last _ time.

_ That isn’t going to happen again, _ she told herself again and again, but it wasn’t effective in making it go away. If anything, it was only getting worse. Images of when she finally found her, and what she had _ told _ her and the _ horror _ she’d felt became more vivid with each unfamiliar person she found.

It was as though everything blurred as she walked, since soon enough she blinked, and was somehow standing next to Duke and Veronica. No Mac. She wasn’t here.

“Oh, hey! You’re back,” Veronica chipped, hopping off the stool. “Was it a disaster?”

Chandler didn’t respond. She continued to look around the room as her mind buzzed.

“Hey.”

She managed to snap her head forward to look at Veronica when she felt her hold her hand. Her brown eyes were filled with concern.

“What’s wrong?”

Chandler chewed on her bottom lip, trying to find her words. Luckily, Duke did it for her.

“Where’s Emmy?”

Chandler stared at the floor. “I don’t know.”

“What?” Veronica gasped. “What do you mean?”

“She wasn’t there when I came out the bathroom.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just lose her in the crowd?” Duke asked, stepping off her stool. Chandler shook her head.

“I wasn’t in a crowd. I went to a disabled bathroom.” She hardly noticed herself chewing on her nails. “I can’t lose her. Not again.”

“Hey, she won’t have gone far,” Veronica tried to reassure her.

“But _ where the fuck has she gone? _” she snapped, her hands shaking. “I need to find her. I’m not letting her get lost again.”

She spun around, but as she took a step forward, something dragged her back by the arm.

“On your own?” Veronica asked. Chandler scowled, snatching her arm back.

“I’m not the one you should be worried about, Sawyer.”

Veronica seemed a little taken aback, but she managed to stay composed.

“I’m worried about both of you.”

“Well _ worry about her more! _ ” she barked, before dashing off into the crowd again, leaving them both behind. In hindsight, she should have told them both to stick together, but her senses were becoming far too overloaded to even _ begin _ organising them. Instead, she let herself stumble around the party, searching every corner, every crowd, every group.

Nothing.

_ Heather, think of something, _ she scolded herself, wrapping hair around her fingers and pulling slightly. _ Where would she be? _

But no answer came to her. She wouldn’t have went off with a guy. She would have just waited for her to come out of the bathroom if she needed to go. Sure, she _ could _ have been hungry and gone for a snack, or maybe a drink, but why couldn’t she find her in the party? Why did she _ lose _ her? _ Why is this happening again? _

There was only one idea that came to her messy, cluttered mind.

“Have you seen a short blonde Hispanic girl anywhere?” is what she asked the first group of students she approached, then the next, then the next. She was dragged around in a circle around the room, up until she got to a small table with a group of girls circling around it, shots in their hands.

“Have _ any _ of you seen a short blonde Hispanic girl?” she asked them desperately, completely disregarding whatever game they were playing. The group turned to her to shoot her an odd look, with the exception of one. Her cheeks were flushed and she was definitely drunk, but there was recognition in her eyes.

“Oh shit, yeah!” she said. “Sorry, I was gonna wait outside the bathroom to tell you, but then my girls called me over for shots and then I just kinda forgo-”

“_ You know where she is? _” She stumbled over to her and grabbed her by the collar, not caring about how uncomfortable the rest of the group looked. “Where the fuck is she?”

“I was told there was like… an emergency with your other friends,” she said. “He told me to go fetch her.”

Chandler’s insides twisted. “There… there isn’t one. My friends are _ fine _.”

“Are we talking about the same girl?”

“Her name is Heather.”

“Oh, yeah, we are.” She managed to wiggle out of her grip which was only getting tighter. “Well then, I dunno what that guy was talking about. I’m just the messenger, sorry.”

Chandler’s throat grew dry, and she thickly swallowed. “Who was this guy?”

“I dunno his name.”

“_ Appearance _ then.”

“Uhh… tall, brown hair, slightly curly and messy, shit shaving job, missing a front tooth for some reason?”

_ Shit! _

“Where did she go? Do you know?”

“Yeah.” She pointed upwards. “To the roof.”

She could have felt her legs crumble beneath her, but for the sake of her best friend, she clutched onto her ring and took a deep breath.

“_ Goddammit, _ ” she hissed to herself, before spinning around and marching off to the main elevator, resisting every urge she felt in her body to stand perfectly still and to _ not _ press that fucking button waiting for her inside.

Because goddammit, she was going up to that fucking roof.

* * *

“Wow, she actually fell for that?” a voice from behind her laughed.

“How dumb do you need to be?” She knew that voice. Brad.

“Pretty fuckin’ retarded if you ask me.” The dry and clenched around her wrists tightened, and the stench of David’s breath loomed closer, scraping the lobe of her ear. The brick wall against her face was cold and rough, so old that ever time she squirmed ever so slightly, red particles would roll off.

But none of it was as uncomfortable as hearing that word being spat into her ear so up close.

“Let me go,” she hissed, her voice a mumble with how one cheek was smushed up against the wall. “Someone will find you guys here.”

The trio laughed. Cackled at her. It was echoing in her head.

“No one gets up in anyone’s business up here,” David sneered, a hand slamming against her shoulder. “No one came for Heather up here. You’ll be exactly the same.”

Heather froze up.

“What?”

“Now,” David carried on, flipping her around so her back was pressed against the wall. “You got anything to say to me?”

Heather was able to maintain eye contact with him, but when she opened her mouth, she found that her words were struggling to come out. Her head was far too cluttered with everything that was happening, even though there was no sounds up here but _ them _.

“Yeah, wanna apologise for completely emasculating Dave in front of everyone?” Brad said. David’s gaze darkened.

“Brad, shut the fuck up,” he snarled. “Though he has a point. You better apologise.” A hand was on her arm. It tugged it harshly. A shot of pain made her flinch.

“No,” she was able to say. “You deserved it.”

“Oh come on, I was just tryna get laid, and you kick the shit out of me?” he said bitterly.

“She didn’t want to,” she replied. Her voice was hoarse.

“She usually does. Admit it, your friend’s a slut.”

She said nothing. Her leg swung forward, it hit is shin. He stumbled back, and for the briefest of moments she was free. She didn’t even get a chance to run before the other two boys grabbed her wrists and held her in place.

“You think she’d be interested tonight?” the guy who Heather didn’t know asked.

“That’s not what we’re here for,” David muttered, rubbing his leg. “We’re here to sort out this _ brat _. Which reminds me, actually.” He gave a twisted smirk. Each step he took towards her was slow. “How’s your cheerleading role going?”

She stared at him blankly.

“Oh, yeah, they must’ve taken that away. I suppose posing as a parent of a kid you beat up will do that.”

Heather could hardly bring herself to react. She desperately wanted to call him petty. Wanted to throw insults at him. But something was keeping her still. Her limbs were shaking. She wanted to feel something soft on her fingers, but her hands were trapped in two sweaty, hot palms while her fingers were out in the freezing cold draft. Insults were being thrown in her ear, and though she could hear them.

Everything was _ uncomfortable _ . Her heart was _ racing _ . She wanted everything to _ stop _ and it _ wasn’t stopping _.

“Get off me,” she spat dangerously.

“Or what?”

“_ Fucking get off me! _” she repeated, thrashing forward to get her hands free. She knew she sometimes would succeed. Cold air would slam into her wrists before sweat entrapped them again. She’d throw her body forward, her vision going blurry every time. She couldn’t see everything, and she wanted to get away from everything that she couldn’t see.

“Jesus, hold her down, would ya?” she vaguely heard David say as she lashed out and stumbled around.

“I’m trying!”

“She’s stronger than she looks.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

An arm attempted to wrap around her head and over her mouth. She felt cramped.

“_ Fuck! _”

“What now?”

“She _ bit _ me!”

“No she didn’t.”

“_ Asshole, there’s fucking teeth marks on my arm. _”

“Oh, shit, it’s bleeding.”

She knew her cheeks were growing more wet. She knew her hands were hitting bone often. She knew her nails weren’t long enough to tear through skin. The need to escape and find somewhere quiet, or to curl up and try and block everything out was growing stronger.

“Fuck this, let me handle it.”

Hands left her again, quickly replaced by a rough paw clutching her collar and shoving her back against the wall _ hard _. The pain should have ripped through her. It felt like a simple bump.

“You better calm down, unless you wanna make things harder for yourself,” he snarled, leering at her. He was looming closer. “Enough fucking around. I’ve had it with you.”

She recalled a hand grasp the yellow strap wrapped around her shoulder. There was a crude tug, like an attempt to rip it off. But it lasted maybe a second.

Suddenly, all hands were off her. None touched her again. All because of a flash of red, and a loud _ slam _ onto the concrete floor.

* * *

“What the fuck?”

Heather’s hands were shaking, but she forced her fists to stay clenched as she pinned David on the ground, her nails digging into his wrists. Just the sight of it was starting to make her feel sick, but she did her best to distract her thoughts with literally _ anything _ else.

“It’s a little too late to be asking to get me off, sweetie,” David remarked, voice overflowing with malice. “You could have just done it the last time, and maybe none of this would be happening.

Heather held back a whimper, and instead dared to look up at Mac. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were full of tears, but worst of all, she looked completely out of it. It was an expression she was able to quickly recognise.

_ Fuck. She’s having a meltdown. _ She found herself being filled with rage, and snapped her gaze back to the sick little fucker beneath her.

“You absolute piece of _ shit _,” she snarled. “What the fuck were you going to do to her?”

He shrugged. “Like I said, I didn’t get off last time. Might as well fix that, right?”

Her head suddenly grew heavy, and it was for a long enough period that she was apparently thrown off, as the next thing she knew, she was on the floor. The same floor she’d been standing on when-

_ No, no, stay here. Get Mac out of here. _

“Get your hands off of her,” she hissed, clambering back onto her feet with one hand gripping the wall. Though, the feeling of the coarse surface scraping her palm sent a shudder down her spine, and an uncomfortable feeling flashed through her just for a second.

“What exactly are you expecting to do, Heather?” David huffed dismissively. “Beat the shit out of us? Please. Your friend only managed to do that with a one-on-one. Didn’t even leave lasting damage.”

“You’re missing several teeth, dipshit,” she spat, desperately trying to still her shaking hands. She hadn’t even noticed her vision had blurred until she forced herself to stare at him right in the eye. He lingered over Mac, standing _ far _ too close, while she stood stiffly by the wall, rocking back and forth with her back hitting the bricks behind her.

Her comment seemed to have made his face twist into something all the more sinister.

“How about you just sit very still and let us have a bit of revenge? It’s only fair for what shit she pulled,” he pointed to Mac, who punched his hand away from her. He winced and shook it, but was clearly trying to pretend like he was untouchable. Heather just snarled, marching forward with her fists clenched and absolutely no plan. Even if she did have one, however, she didn’t get to go through with it, since two pairs of hands suddenly curled around her arms and hauled her backwards.

_ You’re not leaving quite yet. _

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, trying to pull away from whoever was holding her.

_ Heather, you’re not trying to leave anything, _ she told herself. _ Not yet. _

She whipped her head around, and saw that Brad and his other friend were holding her back. Her first instinct was to gather up as much saliva in her mouth and spit it right in Brad’s eye, and so that’s exactly what she did. He gagged in disgust, let her go, leaving her with just one grubby hand around her arm left. She only gave him a hard stare, only to distract him while she lifted up her foot and slammed her heel down on his toes. Lucky for her, his shoes weren’t too firm, so she took a lot of pleasure in seeing him yelp in pain and stumble backwards, having to lean on the wall to rub his foot that was probably throbbing.

With his two goons distracted, Heather turned her attention back to David, who looked like he was about to reach out for Mac again, to which she charged towards him, knocked him backwards and pinned him up against the wall by his shoulders. Yes, wrists would have been a more convenient and effective way to hold him down, but there was no way she wanted to go through that again-

_ Stop moving, you’ll only make things worse for yourself. _

She winced, and swallowed, and again forced herself to stay in the present, but she could have sworn everything was becoming more distant from her. Like she was losing her touch. For a moment, she wasn’t even sure if she was putting any pressure down on David at all.

Maybe that’s how she ended up in his position. She hardly felt anything, but she could feel _ everything _. The wall grating against her, his hand digging into her skin, creasing her black cardigan, her hair sticking and pulling to the brick, the cold wind on her face. It was all there, everything but herself.

“God, what’s happened to you lately?” she heard him say. “You used to be so easy. That’s why I’d tell everyone about you. That’s why you were always so popular with the guys. Why’d you wanna give that up?” He leered at her. She turned her head so his breath would stop grazing her mouth, but she could tell her body was moving like a lifeless doll. “You’re not any fun anymore.”

She swallowed thickly, letting her eyes flicker around at random as everything seemed to be greying out. Nothing really seemed there. She took a deep breath, desperately trying to find a way to bring herself back, because wherever she was going, she didn’t like it.

_ Think, think, think, what brings me back? What keeps me safe? _

Her mind eventually landed on one person.

_ Veronica. _

She remembered everything she had told her, how it felt to be held, how her words were what she needed to hear in that moment.

Perhaps they’d word in this moment too.

“I’m only seventeen, David,” she murmured, her voice hoarse. “Maybe I realised that I don’t have much of my youth left, and realised it was being wasted away.”

“Wasted away by what?”

“People like you.” She slowly turned her head back to him, motion still feeling too slow and too fast and far too out of her control as she did so. “I’ve let the shit that you’ve all done to me eat away at me for long enough. I dunno. I guess I realised I wanted to try and enjoy myself without having to throw myself into rooms with you.” The rims of her eyes were growing warm. “You stole my childhood away, and I’m embarrassed that it took me so long to realise that.”

_ Now be quiet, or we’re gonna have trouble. _

Staring at the floor, not wanting to look at his face for any longer, she could see her legs were trembling. Maybe it was from fear, maybe it was because it felt like she was standing on nothing.

So it’s no surprise that when all the force pressing down on her wrists left her, she stumbled forward, though hardly felt the impact when she hit the ground.

* * *

“Ow, _ fuck, _ that hurts!”

Veronica narrowed her eyes at David, who squirmed in her grip as she dragged him backwards, _ far _ away from Heather and Heather, twisting his wrists enough for the pain to _ burn _. She kept on pulling him away, refusing to let go up until she was at the very edge of the roof, the only thing keeping either of the from toppling over being a flimsy, rusty railing.

“You fucking deserve it, you piece of shit,” she snarled, slamming him against the railing. From the corner of her eye, she saw the two other guys running towards her, and she whipped around at them dangerously.

“Touch me - or _ any _ of us - and I throw him off.”

“Veronica-” she heard Duke protest from behind her, but she ignored her.

“You’re bluffing,” Brad scoffed with disbelief. “You’d be the first suspect for his murder.”

She shoved him further off the edge, and she heard him let out a fearful wince.

“Try me. I can forge handwriting. I can just write him a fucking suicide note, how about that?”

A flash of doubt could be seen in their eyes in seeing him half-dangling over the edge with his hands trapped in her grip.

“Veronica, as much as I would _ love _ that,” Duke said, slowly making her way towards her, “I feel like I should probably stop you from doing a murder tonight.”

Veronica frowned at her, and Duke just sighed, stalking around her and leaning over the railing.

“If we let you back up here safe and sound, do you promise to let us leave with no trouble?”

“Mhmm,” he squeaked. One stern look from Duke was enough for Veronica to let out an irritated groan, before hauling him back up. She did let him topple backwards and fall onto his ass, though.

They both looked down at him, waiting for him to gain back his composure, and as soon as he did, he let out a chortle.

“Fuckin’ dumbasses. You think I’m letting you get away with this shit?” He stood up, eyes blazing with anger as he stalked towards Veronica. “You almost _ killed _ me.”

Before Veronica could act, Duke stepped between the two of them calmly, with one protective hand on Veronica’s abdomen. Veronica held back the urge to hold it tightly, especially with how close David was to her, glaring at her furiously.

“I’ll ask you again, _ nicely _, which is unusual for me,” Duke said. “Just go, and leave us be.”

“As if.” David stepped closer, and Veronica grabbed Duke’s hand and pulled her away. “You ungrateful bitches are gonna get what’s coming for you.”

“I beg to differ,” Duke said, not even flinching when David leaned over, getting dangerously close to her.

“You want to join your friends over there?” He pointed to Chandler, who looked awfully dazed, and Mara, who was curled up against the wall. Veronica wanted nothing more than to hold both of them close, but she kept her stern gaze on the bigger problem standing right in front of them.

“I don’t think I’ll need to,” Duke said, a hint of smugness in her tone. Veronica, confused as to why she seemed so confident in a time of such disaster, remained silent.

“What makes you think that, pint size?” he spat. “At least your friend had some balls. What the fuck are _ you _ gonna do, huh?”

Duke folded her arms, and Veronica spotted a relaxed grin crawl onto her lips.

“I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”

David rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever, empty threats are old news-”

“Uh, David?”

Pausing, David turned around to look at the guy who wasn’t Brad, who was looking at him with a worried look.

“I… um, I actually do need to go.”

He scowled at him. “You don’t need to go anywhere! You literally live here.”

“No, no, I mean…” he grimaced, “I gotta _ go _.”

David raised a brow, before Brad spoke up.

“You know, now that you mention it… I kinda gotta go too?” He looked at him nervously, while Duke just tilted her chin up with her smirk growing ever wider.

“What the fuck? _ Where? _”

“Dude, I don’t think I can hold it-” the other one said. “Sorry, man, I gotta _ go _.”

And just like that, darted off, almost slipping when he made a sharp turn back into the building. After he was out of sight, David snapped his gaze over to Brad, who gave him an apologetic look.

“Maybe next time, but I don’t think I can stay here for much longer,” he said quickly, before dashing off as well. David stared after them, infuriated, before turning back to Duke, who had the most devious look on her face that Veronica had ever seen, and if it weren’t for the context, she’d take a moment to admire how adorable it was.

“What kind of fucking game are you playing?” he hissed. Heather gave a shrug, saying nothing.

Then, after a few moments of staring at each other, something in David’s expression changed. It was no longer threatening. In fact, he looked more _ threatened _, if anything.

“_ Shit, _” is all he said, before he too ran back inside, leaving Duke with both a relieved and smug expression.

“Couldn’t have been timed better,” she sighed with relief as she watched him go.

As soon as he was gone, Veronica hurried over to Chandler, picking her up off the ground and lifting her head up.

“Heather! Are you alright?” she said, searching for some sort of recognition in her tearful eyes. She didn’t get a reply, though hands did clutch around her waist tightly and her head fell on her shoulder. Veronica let out a relieved sigh, and yet couldn’t let herself relax. Heather felt so vulnerable clutching to her, and she didn’t need to ask her any more questions to know why.

“We need to get you out of here,” Veronica said sternly, cupping her cheeks to gaze her in the eye. “Are you still with me?”

Heather gave a nod.

“Come on, let’s-” She tried to lead her away by the hand, but she stayed put. She turned around in confusion, and saw that she was looking over to Mara and Duke.

“I’m not leaving her again,” Chandler said hoarsely. Veronica’s brow knitted.

“We’re not, I just think we should leave here as soon as possible."

“I don’t leave until she does,” Chandler told her stubbornly, seemingly ignoring the fact that her hands were trembling in her hold. Veronica bit down on her lip, feeling sick at the thought of letting her stay here for any longer, and hurried over to Mara.

“Hey, Mara?” she said, though she didn’t even look at her. She was hardly looking at Duke either. “I know you’re probably really shaken up, but we seriously need to get off of this roof.” She tilted her head slightly, and still couldn’t catch eye contact. Her head hung and her hands were rubbing up and down her arms repeatedly, while her body swayed back and forth.

“Give her a moment,” Duke told her. Veronica frowned.

“We don’t _ have _ a moment!” she snapped. “We need to go. I’m not letting Heather stay up here for any longer.” She stared at Mara, growing impatient. “ _ Please, _ Heather, we seriously need to go.” She reached out towards her. “Just come with me to the car-”

“_ Don’t touch me! _”

As soon as her fingertips touched her shoulder, a hand slapped her away. The sharp tone was uncanny coming out of Mara’s mouth, and it left Veronica stunned. That, along with the piercing glare that she was given by her, honestly kind of _ hurt _. 

“I-” she stammered. “Did you hear what I said? We need to-”

“I don’t want to _ move! _” she snapped, covering her ears. “Just stay away from me!”

Something clenched in Veronica’s chest, and as Mara sauntered away, leaving her back turned to her, she helplessly looked over to Duke, who only offered a sigh.

“I told you to give her a moment,” she muttered.

“Usually I’d be happy to, but I’m not letting Heather stay up here!”

Duke scowled. “Is that all you’re worried about?” she asked. “She’s kind of the reason we’re _ here _ , at this _ party _ , at all!” She folded her arms. “Maybe if she had just _ listened _ to us for once, we wouldn’t be having this dilemma right now!”

“You can’t blame her for all of this.”

“No, but I can certainly blame her for _ some _ of it,” she hissed, her eyes moving to somewhere behind Veronica. She followed her gaze and found her own landing on Chandler, who had clearly heard every word, with how she was looking at the two of them intently, but there was no sign of any attempt to argue. No defensive glare or bitter snarl in her direction. Just stiff shoulders and darkened, clouded eyes. Nothing but defeat.

“Heather, _ please _ , you don’t understand, we can’t keep her up here-”

“Of course I don’t understand!” Duke barked. “Like I ever understand half the shit she pulls. It’s not like she ever tells us anything-”

“Look, I know you’re upset, but can we _ please _ get Mara, leave, and sort all of this out later?”

“Like I said, she _ needs _ a moment. What were you thinking, anyway? You should know not to touch her when she gets like that. You’re practically dating.”

“No, I _ don’t _ know that!”

“Both of you, _ shut up! _ ” They both jumped at the sound of Mara shrieking. “Everything is too fucking _ loud! _”

Both Veronica and Duke clamped their mouths shut, before Chandler, suddenly mobile again, drifted past them both, silently walking over to her. Wondering what she was doing, Veronica stared at them both intently.

“Mac,” Chandler spoke in a soft tone. “It’s okay. They’ve stopped.”

“It feels like nothing is stopping,” Mara whimpered. Chandler stepped closer, but still didn’t touch her.

“It will. We’ll be out of here soon. We can go to your house, if you’d like. You’ll be safe there.” She held out a hand to her, and Veronica could have flinched, expecting Mara to shove it away. But that didn’t happen. Instead, Mara looked up at her silently. Chandler spoke again.

“I won’t take you anywhere you don’t want to go. We’ll go back to my car. I can sit in the back with you. Does that sound okay?”

Blinking at her, Mara raised her hand and let it land on Chandler’s, at first holding it gently. Then she shifted closer to her, both of her arms wrapping around Chandler’s until she was firmly latched onto her. The two of them started to walk, at first very slowly, nervously, towards the door. It was only when they were ahead of Veronica and Duke did either of them move from their places.

The rest of the journey was made in dead silence.

* * *

Heather blinked open her eyes.

Her vision was hazy, and it felt like her surroundings weren’t being processed quite right. Despite the uncomfortable groggy feeling in her head, however, she sat up in the bed.

She wasn’t entirely sure how long she had been lying there for since they all returned to Mac’s house. An hour, perhaps? Maybe not even that. She couldn’t be sure, not when her whole evening felt as though they were in bits and pieces when she looked back at them.

Nothing felt _ right _, right now. In fact, things felt a lot colder than they had before.

She looked to her side. Next to her on the bed was a weighted blanket, a stuffed bear and fox, and a whole bunch of pillows. No Mac.

Losing sight of her sent an initial panic through Heather, and she leaped out of bed, looking around the room frantically. Her search came to an end quickly, however, as when her eyes landed on the window, she saw a figure sitting in the crevice of the tree outside, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket. Heather very nearly took the shortcut to her, considering opening the window and crawling along the branch down to her. However, to give herself a fucking break, she decided against it, and opted to take the long way around.

Soon enough she was outside of the house, outside in the cold, and she silently glided across the grass and over to her friend. Her head was tilted up. She was probably focused on the stars above. Too focused on that to notice her presence.

“Mac?”

She wasn’t startled when she called her name. She simply looked down at her from the tree. Wordlessly, she gave a wave, her expression unchanging.

“Hello,” she replied. Her voice was still quiet. “Is it okay if I sit?”

Mac shifted to one side, then held out her hands towards her. Heather was hauled up with ease, grunting when she landed on the tree.

“Thanks,” she said. Mac didn’t look at her, only stared forward at the trees rustling in front of her. When Heather hugged herself as a shiver ran through her, half of a blanket was wrapped around her. She gave a soft smile, shifting a little closer to her to gain a little more warmth, until she was pressed right up against her.

“So… are you feeling okay?” Heather asked. Mac didn’t look at her still, though she did sign,

_ “I’m better now.” _

“I’m glad.”

Finally, she turned her head towards her. Her eyes looked tired and were drooping, but she still found some light in them when she signed again,

_ “Is it 1990 yet?” _

Heather let out a light chuckle.

“I don’t know, to be honest. I kinda blacked out for a bit, I have no idea how long we’ve been here for.” She glanced up at the sky. “Though, I haven’t heard any fireworks. I’ll assume when they happen, it’ll be midnight.”

They both gazed at the sky patiently, with Heather finding herself tracing the many constellations that Veronica had taught her. For a moment, she considered pointing them out to Mac. She would surely love to know where they all are, with her love of space and all.

However, when she looked at her again, her chest only tightened.

“I’m sorry for taking you there,” she muttered, catching Mac’s attention. “You were right. All of you were. It was stupid bringing you there at all.” The back of her throat began to ache. “I thought everything would be fine. I thought it would just be another party, and that it would make up for last time. But instead I…” She scraped her teeth over her lip, probably smudging the last of her lipstick. “I got you hurt.”

Mac blinked, her hazel eyes glistening in the moonlight.

“I shouldn’t have put you through that because I wanted to prove something,” Heather murmured, tucking her knees under her chin and hugging them.

_ “What were you trying to prove?” _ Mac signed. Heather dug her nails into her tights.

“Um… just that… that I can handle something as big as a Remington party,” she replied, voice muffled. She could see Mac leaning a little closer out of the corner of her eye.

“Heather.”

Though her voice was soft, it still made her flinch to hear it again.

“What were you trying to prove?”

Heather thought that maybe if she just stared ahead, pretending as if she didn’t hear her voice, no matter how loud and clear it may have been in her ear, she could avoid it. And yet, a crushing feeling made her feel like she had to say _ something _ or she was going to fucking _ choke _.

“I want to prove that that place doesn’t scare me,” she said bitterly. “That if I treat it like I do any other party, it’s completely normal. It’ll make everything okay. After all,” she whipped her head around to face her, “if I don’t act damaged, that means no damage was done, right?”

Suddenly a hand was cupping her face. It was cold - freezing, even. It made her shiver.

“What happened up there?” Mac asked, voice raspy and eyes foggy. Heather stared back at her, feeling her whole body stiffen up. While she tried to think of some way to answer her question, her hands scratched at her thighs, while her eyes briskly darted around. Her head went through maybe four or five different long-winded, clunky responses, all of which she had used to answer that question whenever she asked it to her own reflection. But now, none of them would suffice. Nothing sounded right to her compared to a much shorter, blunt reply.

“I was raped.”

The hand on her cheek left her, and for about a second, Heather felt nothing.

Then she found herself in a tight embrace, a firm, safe hold around her that let her relax. When her shoulders slumped, the lump she had been keeping down in her throat suddenly came up, and she muffled her whimper by burying her face into her shoulder.

“Thank you for telling me,” Mac murmured, her hand running through her hair, causing tingles to run through Heather’s body.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” Heather cried. “But I didn’t want to believe- I _ didn’t _ believe… and my parents told me that-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Mac said, leaning back to face her. “I’m glad you told me now.” Her gaze grew more solemn. “But I… I’m very sorry that happened to you.”

Chandler scoffed, rubbing the tears out of her eyes. “Whatever. It was well over a year ago.”

“You still came up to the roof for me,” Mac murmured, eyes glassy. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I wasn’t going to lose you again,” Heather murmured. “Not like last time.”

“Heather, you didn’t lose me.”

“But I _ did! _” she snapped. “And just look at what happened when I did. Both times, something awful happened. You’d think I’d learn.”

Mac’s eyes saddened. “It wasn’t your fault either time.”

“But-”

“You’re not responsible for things that _ I _ did!” she said. “That night you lost me, I did that out of spite. I was mad at you, I’m pretty sure I _ wanted _ you to worry.”

“Except you don’t remember because you were too drunk to!” she argued. “I knew you were drunk and I still left you alone, and just look where it found you.”

“How old were you?”

“Huh?”

“What was that, like, three years ago?” Mac folded her arms. “Were you fifteen?”

“I-I think so?”

“Exactly! If we’re gonna blame anyone, how about we blame the fact that we were fifteen years old and _ drinking? _ We were all stupid and it ended with some dumb decisions. All of that was not your fault.”

Heather shifted a little “Are you saying you don’t want to drink alcohol anymore?”

“Absolutely not,” Mac said. “Sure I don’t remember my first because I drank too much, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to give up flavoured vodka.”

That was able to make Chandler let out a chuckle. “Good, I’d miss playing Never Have I Ever with you.”

“That too!”

They both laughed.

“Hey,” Mac then spoke again. “Thanks for coming for me tonight.”

Heather rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t gonna leave you up there by yourself.”

“Even though you-”

“Yes, in spite of that.”

Her eyes widened. “And then I didn’t let you get down from the roof because I was having a meltdown.” Hands tightly clutched Heather’s. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“Mac, you didn’t know!” Heather told her, lifting her hands up just below her chin, resting it on them. “It’s okay, I promise.”

“It isn’t, though,” Mac said sadly. “You were-”

“Look, it’s my fault for going to a Remington party by myself at sixteen, okay?”

Mac paused, her expression growing serious. She straightened herself up and looked down at Heather with a stern gaze.

“Heather,” she began. “You never asked anyone to hurt you, and you never asked anyone to hurt _ me _.” She found her head being lifted up to look into her hazel eyes directly.

“You need to stop taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.”

Heather felt her body grow stiff. She didn’t tear her gaze away, instead continued to stare at her while more tears began to gather, making her vision grow blurry. Usually she’d wipe them away until she had none left, but this time she let them roll down her face. Releasing them just felt so much better.

“Alright,” she murmured. “I’ll… I’ll do my best.”

“That being said,” Mac relaxed, meeting her at eye level, “I should apologise for separating from you when you told me… not to do that.” She gazed at her hands sheepishly. “I should’ve turned back, especially when I got a bad feeling in my gut.”

“Mac, I literally don’t care,” Heather said, throwing herself on her. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” She held her close, not wanting to let her go for at _ least _ the rest of the night. “At least, I’m assuming you’re okay.”

“I feel a lot better, thank you,” Mac replied with a giggle. “I mean, I’m speaking again now. That’s something.” Then a sharp gasp. “I… I should speak to Veronica.”

“Why?”

“I snapped at her when I was having a meltdown,” Mac lamented. “She doesn’t know why I acted like that-”

“Okay, sure, just…” She tightened her hold. “Stay here for a bit? Please?” She nuzzled into her neck. “I’ve been apart from you enough today.”

She felt a head rest on her shoulder.

“I don’t think it was for very long, but okay,” she sweetly giggled. Fuck, Heather had missed that sound. Though Mac was right - it _ hadn’t _ been very long - the thought of letting her go again made her heart clench. And holding her tighter made her heart warm. Very warm. Like her dreams.

Her _ dumb _ dreams. Her dumb, stupid, unrealistic, distracting, arousing, _ wonderful _ dreams.

And just like those dreams, she was able to press herself up again Mac. More than she usually would, anyway.

“You know, if you’re cold, we can go inside.”

“What makes you think I’m cold?”

“You get cold very easily,” Mac chuckled. “Also, you don’t seem to wanna let go.”

“Let go of what?”

“Me.”

In realising she was still leaning over to hug her, she felt her face grow even warmer.

“I just… um…” She refused to move from her position. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Mac said contently, shifting herself so that she was instead sitting by her side, but with one arm still wrapped around her and holding her close. The blanket was draped over her, shielding her from the cold wind. For a while, they sat in silence, with Chandler comfortably tucked under Mac’s arm, letting herself get lost in what would otherwise be a dream. It definitely felt like a dream, and she was willing to let everything else around her fade so that she could keep this moment, just for a little while. She deserved it.

Then, after some tranquil silence, Mac spoke again.

“I… think it’s a good thing I haven’t given up alcohol.”

Heather let out an amused huff. “Yeah.”

“It would make Spin the Bottle a lot more difficult,” she said. “I kinda relied on alcohol to get through it.”

Heather bit the inside of her cheek, her mind immediately going to their _ last _ game. Only this time, she didn’t push the thought down. It was far more pleasant than any other thoughts she’d had tonight.

“Why, was I that bad?” she snarked, arching a brow at her. Mac fluttered her lashes.

“I never said that!”

“How much alcohol did you need to get through our kiss, huh?” she teased, knocking her with her shoulder.’

“None!”

Heather turned to her, and saw that her cheeks were a little darker. Suddenly, she was intrigued.

“None, you say?”

“I mean, I had some in my system,” she said. “But I’m sure if I didn’t, nothing would have changed.”

Feeling her face grow hot, Chandler looked down sheepishly.

“But you already know that,” Mac added. “It’s common knowledge that you’re a good kisser.”

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I am.”

Fingers traced over the back of her hand, until they slipped between her own and linked.

“I’m just glad that I was able to see what people meant,” she said.

“Really,” Heather huffed, lifting her head and locking eyes with her. “You’re so subtle. Anyone ever told you that?”

Mac leaned forward a little, the cloud forming from her breath brushing over Heather’s cheeks.

“You’re my best friend. I didn’t want to take any risks.” Her grip on her hand tightened.

“Yeah… me too,” Heather whispered, her breath shuddering as their lips edged closer. “But after tonight… I think my biggest worry is losing you again.”

“I guess even the fearless Heather Chandler has her worries.” She tilted her head to the side. “Can I reassure her that she has nothing to worry about?”

Heather bit her lip, feeling her breathing hitch and her heartbeat’s pace quicken. She said nothing, only nodded, and intently watched her as she grew closer, her eyes slowly closing as she did. Though she knew what was going to happen, when she felt lips touch her own, all her senses somehow stopped working. All but those focused on Mac as her lips brushed over her own, and though this wasn’t the first time, it felt like something brand new.

Heather tilted her head to the side a little more, yearning to deepen the kiss that she’d been dreaming about ever since that night. She knew what to expect, and yet was entranced by the feeling of her friend holding her hips and pulling her closer. Each time she would, Heather let out a sigh, or a whimper, and when Mac would pull her closer every time she did, she would let out the softest moan.

They parted for a moment, just to catch a breath, as well as each other’s eye. Mac’s speckled gaze was unfocused, yet _ glimmering _ . As beautiful as she looked, though, Heather found herself shooting forward to close the gap, _ desperately _ wanting more. Maybe she was spoilt, because she wasn’t quite sure if more of _ this _ would suffice. Maybe she wanted more of-

_ BANG! _

Heather yelped in fright at the sound of a loud clap, followed by a satisfying trickling sound. Both of them glanced up, and saw the golden glitter scattering in the sky.

“Looks like it’s 1990,” Heather murmured in Mac’s ear, before a few more fireworks came whistling through the sky and scattering colours against the black sky.

“Happy New Year!” Mac chipped. Heather just giggled, before leaning in again. Wordlessly, Mac did the same, and the two of them returned to complete bliss.

A good way to start a brand new year, in her opinion.

* * *

“Oh, shit, are they actually gonna do it?”

Veronica leaned forward, watching the scene just outside the window play intently.

“I thought they were going to,” Duke grunted, narrowing her eyes at them. “If Heather could just… hurry the fuck up.” She groaned. “Get on with it, you pussy.”

“I think they’re just talking,” Veronica sighed, looking at both Chandler and Mara, who were sat _ incredibly _ close to one another, faces maybe an inch apart.

“_ HA! _ You’re wrong, V, you owe me twenty bucks.”

“_ What? _ ” She pressed her face up against the window and widened her eyes. “Holy _ fuck _, you were right.” She blinked a few times, making sure she wasn’t imagining that they were kissing right now. As in, completely willingly. No drunken game involved. “How did you predict that?”

Duke gave a yawn, resting her head on her hand. “I have my ways,” she mumbled tiredly. “Now, can we stop staring at them like creeps?”

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend out there,” Veronica shot back. “I have a right to know about this.”

“Uh-huh.”

Just then, a loud bang from outside sounded, along with the bright flash of a firework. Veronica blinked at it, fascinated for a moment, up until she realised.

“Wait… is it _ midnight? _”

“That’s why there’s fireworks, yeah,” Duke replied.

Veronica stared out the window in dismay. “Oh _ come on! _ The _ one _ time I’m able to have a New Years kiss from not one, but _ two _ people, I don’t get one?” She pouted and folded her arms. “All because that kiss was stolen _ by _ those two candidates, no less.” She turned to Duke. “What bullshit is this? Now I have to wait a whole year unti-”

“Jesus Christ,” Duke groaned, straightening herself up and stepping towards Veronica. Without another word, she grabbed her by the collar, stood up on her tip-toes and lunged forward to plant a rough kiss right on her lips. Veronica froze up, taking a moment to process the soft, yet somehow firm lips pressed against her own, even if it was only for a few seconds before Heather let go of her again.

“There, you happy?” she asked with folded arms. Veronica pursed her lips tightly and gave a curt nod. “Good. Now we’ve both made up for our New Years kisses being stolen.”

“Mhmm. We can,” she squeaked, feeling her cheek to check if it was warm. It was.

“Wait.” Veronica paused. “What?”

Duke let out an exasperated sigh as she made her way over to Mara’s bed, flopping onto it.

“You were gonna find out sooner or later,” she said. “But I hope you don’t mind sharing a girlfriend.”

Veronica held her breath, turning around to face Duke with a flabbergasted look.

“You’re _ what? _” She darted over to her. “When did this happen?”

“You know when we all came to Mac’s and then you left to hang out with your loser friends, then Heather left to say goodbye to her family? Yeah, that night.”

“_ Oh. _” Veronica held her chest. “I thought you were talking about Heather, not Mara.”

Duke glared at her. “I am _ definitely _ not talking about Heather.”

“Only because Mara isn’t actually my girlfriend,” she said. Duke gave a huff, rolling her eyes.

“You might as well be.”

Veronica’s heart sunk a little, and she took a step back away from her. “I… I mean, don’t get me wrong, _ I _ would like that, but after tonight…” She bit her lip and scratched the back of her neck. “Do you think she’s still mad at me?”

Duke offered a sympathetic look. “She was never mad at you, V.”

She frowned at her. “How do you know that?”

“No, she’s right.”

Veronica flinched when she suddenly heard Mara’s voice, along with the door to her room opening. In stepped both her and Chandler, who definitely didn’t look suspicious at all.

“Um… can I talk to you?” Mara asked gingerly, twiddling her fingers. “Since I’m up to talking again.”

Veronica’s gaze softened, and she nodded.

“Sure.”

Mara gave her a smile, before gesturing her to follow. As she walked past, Chandler also spoke up.

“I need to talk to you too.” She stared at Duke seriously, who looked back at her, a little startled.

“You’re not going to lecture me, are you?” she squinted at her. “I am too tired for that.”

“No,” she said, looking a little disheartened. Veronica frowned, then gave her a little nudge as she walked past.

“You’ll be okay,” she whispered to her, catching a glimpse of a smile before she left the room. She was lead down the corridor, then into a spare bedroom. Mara sat down on the bed and waited for Veronica to take her place next to her. She gave an awkward smile before doing so, daring to not press herself up against her with how thick the tension in the air felt.

“So…” Veronica started, biting the inside of her cheek and looking away. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m a lot better,” Mara said.

“I bet you are,” she mumbled under her breath. Mara leaned forward and glimpsed at her curiously.

“Huh?”

“Heather and I totally saw that,” Veronica said with a hint of amusement in her voice. “I hope you don’t mind your new girlfriend kissing me, by the way, but in fairness, _ both _ of you stole mine simultaneously.”

“_ Huh? _” Mara stared at her, dumbfounded. “Heather kissed you?”

“Just to make things fair.”

“_ And _ she told you we were dating?” A smile appeared on her lips. “Aww, I thought she’d wait a little longer.”

“Okay, but, since when was Heather gay?” Veronica asked. “Did I miss something?”

“Since a few days ago, I suppose?”

“Huh.” She patted Heather on the back. “You are just out here suave-ing us all. I applaud you for that.”

Mara curled a lock of hair around her finger and batted her lashes.

“I hope you’re not too jealous.”

“Perhaps I am,” Veronica laughed. “Though, is that what you wanted to talk to me about, by the way? I’m completely fine with you and Heather being a thing. At least, that’s where I imagine that was going?”

“Oh! No, no, I wanted to talk about something else.” She ran her fingers through her hair, letting her bangs cover one of her eyes a little more. “It was about before.”

Veronica nodded in understanding, shrinking back a little.

“Right.”

Mara looked up at her, guilt evident in her eyes. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” she said, biting her lip. “And also hitting you.”

Veronica shook her head. “It’s fine. It didn’t really hurt.” She tapped the part of her arm where Mara’s hand at come into contact with. “See? No marks.”

“That’s not the point. I still hit you.”

Veronica shrugged. “I was being pushy.”

“But I know why you were!” She gazed at the floor. “Or at least, I know now.”

It took a moment for it to click in Veronica’s head exactly what she meant, and she gasped.

“Wait, so Heather told you about-”

“Mhmm.” Her expression had become solemn. “She’s telling Heather about it too. As in, right now.”

“Oh.” Veronica glanced towards the general direction of Mara’s bedroom, now knowing what was happening there. “I’m… I’m proud of her.”

“And since she’s being honest right now, I figured now would be a good time to be as well.”

She looked back to Mara with curiosity. “You’ve been hiding something?”

“Only from you, yes,” she said sheepishly. “Which I know now was a mistake.”

Veronica tilted her head, then shifted her body around to face Mara directly.

“Whatever it is, I won’t judge you for it,” she told her. “Unless it’s something really bad.”

“Really bad like what?”

“Like being a Republican.”

Mara’s face twisted with disgust.

“I know I’m rich, but I’m not _ stupid. _”

“Phew.” Veronica made a gesture of wiping imaginary sweat from her forehead. “Well then, what is it?”

Mara gazed at her wordlessly for a moment, then mimicked Veronica’s actions by turning her body towards her, crossing her legs on the bed. Her hands tapped the sheets nervously.

“I never did think you’d judge me for it, because you’re actually nice.” She swallowed. “I was just… scared you’d treat me differently at all.”

Veronica’s brows knitted. “Well, I promise not to.” She placed a hand on her shoulder cautiously, and when Mara made no effort to remove it, she rubbed her hand up and down her arm soothingly. “What is it?”

Mara’s eyes avoided her own, watching her own fingers move on repeat, glancing around the room or up at the ceiling. All the while her mouth opened ever so slowly.

“I’m,” is all she got out for a moment.

“You’re…?”

Mara took a deep breath, before speaking again.

“I’m autistic.”

Veronica leaned back, looking at her with surprise.

“Wait, really?”

Mara finally managed to lock eyes with her.

“I was diagnosed as a child, so I’m pretty sure, yes.”

“Huh,” Veronica huffed. “I had no idea.” Then she smiled. “Why’d you keep that from me so long?”

“Like I said, I thought you might treat me differently,” she said meekly. Veronica gave a chuckle.

“Of course I won’t!”

“Well, thank you.” She gave a half smile. “Sorry I waited so long to tell you. I don’t really like telling anyone.” The corner of her mouth dropped again. “Only Heather and Heather know. And, well, now you too.”

“I mean, it’s nothing to feel bad about.”

“But people like to make you feel bad about it anyway,” she muttered bitterly. “I dealt with that in my own house growing up. I didn’t want to deal with it in high school. Or middle school, for that matter.”

Veronica frowned, her hand cupping her face. “Who made you feel bad about it?”

Mara gave a haughty laugh. “Aw, I never told you about my mother, did I?” She patted her on the cheek. “That’s a story for another emotional night full of crying and fucking to ignore our problems.” She sighed. “Right now though, I should apologise for not telling you sooner. We could have avoided what happened before if I did.”

“We could have?”

Mara squinted. “How much do you know about autism?”

“I… not much, to be honest.” She shrugged. “All I know is that autistic people can be highly intelligent-”

“That’s Asperger’s. I don’t have that.”

“Explains why you’re not good at math,” Veronica said, and Mara nodded. “Hmm… what else.” She tapped her chin. “Oh, they’re not good at picking up on emotions and signals! Or is that also-” She turned to Mara. “Wait, no, that _ is _ you!”

“Mhmm. Thanks.”

“Sorry! I just…” She gasped. “I never noticed anything, but now you mention it-”

“Okay, you can look back on everything I’ve ever done later.” Mara took hold of her hands, dragging her attention back to her. “I assume you have no idea what a meltdown is. And not the ‘I’m having a breakdown’ type.”

Veronica gritted her teeth, unable to think of what she meant.

“It’s what was happening before. I was having a meltdown,” she said with a sigh. “If things around me become to much, or if I have very little control of what’s happening to me, it tends to happen. I… I lash out a lot because I just want everything to stop and want to escape, so when people try and tell me what to do, I may… do what I did to you.” She looked up at her with a sorrowful gaze. “I’m sorry that I did. I know you just wanted us to leave as soon as possible, and I hold nothing against you. You didn’t know what to do, and it’s not like Heather or Heather were going to tell you.”

Veronica nodded again. “It’s okay, Mara. And I’m sorry for being pushy, too. I’m usually not like that with anyone, I just…” She grimaced, and Mara brushed a few stray strands out of her face.

“I know. We both know tonight was a disaster.”

“It really was,” Veronica laughed, though it was bittersweet. “Should we just put this all behind us, and you can tell me how to react if you have another meltdown?”

“Oh! I can teach you what to do if I have a shutdown as well!”

“Wh- what is a _ shutdown? _ ”

“Kind of like a meltdown, but with less lashing out and more me just going completely silent.”

“Oh… then yes, you can teach me about that too.”

Mara giggled sweetly. “A fun friendship bonding activity, if you ask me.”

Veronica gave a snicker, before her brain was reminded about something else.

“About that,” she said slowly. “Um… before Heather mentioned that we might as well be girlfriends.” She laughed nervously, dragging her hand through her hair, in spite of any knots she pulled in there.

“She’s said that to me too,” Mara giggled.

“Oh! Funny.” She cleared her throat, “Um… it got me thinking, though? I mean, it isn’t what _ got _ me thinking about it, but it reminded me, and since we’re alone right now, I figured we could talk about it now.”

“Mhmm?”

“Would… would you be interested?”

“Interested in what?”

“In changing the title of our _ friendship _.” She made quotations with her fingers. “Perhaps to… um… girlfriends? Maybe? Only if you want to.”

Mara stared at her for a moment, completely blank, causing any leftover tension from before to grow thicker yet again. Veronica shrank back into her shoulders, gnawing at her lip, anxiously awaiting for a reply.

“I’m not going to lie, Ronnie,” Mara finally spoke. “I thought we already were.”

Veronica let out a big sigh of relief.

“I mean, we kinda act like it-”

“_ Kinda? _”

“Okay, so a lot. But it’s just never been official, you know?”

“So, you’re asking me if we can just make it official already?” She giggled sweetly and held the frame of her face. “Of course, dummy!” She then planted a kiss on her lips, which made Veronica squeal giddly.

“I have two girlfriends!”

Mara rolled her eyes.

“I might have three, so I win.”

Veronica’s hands dropped to her sides. “_ Do _ you though?” she asked suspiciously. “Are you and Heather actually a thing, or was that little thing that happened outside just a moment of what Heather would call, _ emotional impulse _ .” She scoffed. “You know, instead of calling it what it actually is, which is, _ I like girls, they’re pretty, let me kiss them. _”

Mara laughed. “Guess we’ll find out.” She took hold of her hand and hopped off of the bed. “Come on, let’s see if they’re finished talking yet.”

“I feel like we can’t bring this up quite yet, Mara,” Veronica told her. “It’s a really sensitive topic for Heather. She’ll probably still have tears in her eyes when we get there-”

“Shh.” She was suddenly hushed by her _ girlfriend _ , and they both paused just outside the door of her bedroom. Veronica took that moment to listen, and through the walls, she heard muffled laughter. It wasn’t even from Duke - it was _ Chandler. _

“I think we’ll be okay to go in,” Mara said confidently, before opening to door. Their hands were still linked, to her delight.

They stepped into the room, and they saw Chandler, lying back on the bed and cackling, with Duke giving her an amused look.

“What’s so funny?” Veronica asked. Chandler looked up at her, temporarily pausing her laughing fit.

“‘Ronica, those dipshits _ shit _ themselves!” She rolled off the bed, almost toppling over onto the floor with how off her balance was, and hurried over to her.

“Huh?” Veronica raised a brow, confused. Heather lay two hands on her shoulders when she reached her, and at a closer look, she could see that her eyes were indeed teary, but by no means from misery.

“As in, David and the other dickheads? They _ literally _ shit themselves.”

Veronica eventually caught on. “_ Oh! _ Yeah, they did.”

“Wait, what?” Mara asked. “How do you know?”

“Oh, we spiked their drinks with laxatives as soon as we got there,” Duke said with a devious chuckle. “It just so happened to hit at a _ really _ good time.”

“Wait, you _ what? _ ” Mara gasped. “ _ That’s _ why they left?”

“Yeah.”

Mara let out a snort, before laughing. “Do you think they made it to the bathroom?”

Veronica gave a scoff. “It’s possible, but we put a _ lot _ of laxatives in those drinks. It’s kinda hard to hold back the shit that was about to come out of their assholes.”

Next to her, Chandler collapsed into laughter again, holding herself up with one arm on Veronica’s shoulder. The sight was both amusing and heartwarming to Veronica, and she fondly wrapped her arm around her waist to help support her, as well as pull her a little closer. Chandler landed just under her chin, resting her head on her chest as she continued to laugh.

“Wait, where did you even _ get _ laxatives?” Mara asked, glancing at Veronica, who pointed to Duke. “Heather… why did you have laxatives?”

“Why do you _ think _ I had laxatives, my sweet?”

Mac frowned and folded her arms.

“Oh, chill, I never actually used them. It’s why I had so many.” She waved dismissively. “Turns out using laxatives is more dangerous than puking, so I stuck with my usual way. Still kept them, though. I always did want to use them at a party.”

“Okay, I’ll let you off.”

“Wait a sec,” Chandler said, wiping away her tears and taking a breather. “Did you just say ‘my _ sweet _’?”

“Oh yeah, we’re dating now,” Duke said. Chandler shot off of Veronica.

“_ What?” _ She gaped at her. “Since _ when? _”

“Since the other day. Any more questions?” Duke asked.

“Yeah, since when were you _ gay? _”

“I had an awakening like the rest of you, let me live.”

“And you like _ Mac? _”

“What’s not to like?”

“Aww!” Mara squealed, scurrying over to Duke to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“I’d show more affection, but I’m _ seething, _” Duke said, sitting perfectly still.

“Why?” Veronica asked.

“I told her about my trauma,” Chandler explained. “Believe it or not, this conversation started out very serious.”

“I’m still seriously _ seething, _” Duke growled. “I should have just let Veronica do a murder.”

“There were too many witnesses, it’s for the best,” Veronica said. “But I’m proud of you for telling them both, Heather,” she then said, cupping her chin and planting a kiss on her lips. A soft smile appeared on her face.

“It’s whatever,” Chandler shrugged. “I feel like all I’ve done is made Heather want to commit murder.”

“Does it count as murder if it’s a rapist?” Duke snarled.

“To the cops it will, because otherwise they wouldn’t be able to arrest their own murderers,” Veronica jeered, causing everyone else to laugh.

“Also, V,” Duke then said. “When are you gonna give me my twenty bucks?”

“When I have it,” Veronica replied.

“Why are you giving her twenty bucks?” Chandler asked.

“She guessed that the two of you would kiss and won our bet,” Veronica grumbled, pointing at her and Mara. Chandler let out a startled squeak and covered her mouth.

“We weren’t kissing!” she barked. “We were-”

“We had a _ great _ view of it from the window, Heather,” Duke told her.

“Also, I’ve already confessed. Sorry,” Mara added with a sheepish smile. Chandler just screeched into her hand while her face became a much darker red. Veronica gave her a sympathetic shoulder pat and chuckled.

“Hey, you two are both close _ and _ gay. It was bound to happen.”

“I… I don’t know what happened, okay?” Chandler snapped. “I just… I’m really emotional tonight and it was really impulsive, so-”

“Fuck, I should’ve betted that she’d say that,” Veronica muttered. “Because I so called it.”

“Shut up!”

Veronica just pulled tongues at her cheekily, while Chandler rolled her eyes with disdain.

“Hey, if you don’t want it to go anywhere, that’s okay!” Mara said softly, walking towards her. “I think about kissing my best friends a lot too.”

“Your best friends are your _ girlfriends, _ Mac,” Chandler grunted, before side-eyeing Veronica. “I think.”

“Oh, yeah, we confirmed that just then,” Veronica said, pointing to the door behind her.

“Well, _ you’re _ my best friend, but you’re not my girlfriend,” Mara said with a sweet tone and fluttering lashes. “But I’d be up to changing that title, if you are.” While she slipped her hands around Chandler’s Veronica scuttled over to Duke and whispered,

“I bet twenty bucks she says yes.”

Duke arched a brow. “Get ready to pay me forty bucks, because she’s too emotionally constipated for that.”

“We’ll see about that,” she said with a smirk, before they both looked back at the pair intently.

Chandler was biting the inside of her cheek, her foot tapping rapidly on the ground and her eyes drifting around the room.

“Well… I mean, if you think about it,” she eventually spoke. “We’ve been engaged for almost ten years.”

Both Veronica and Duke paused, shooting each other a dumbfounded look.

“I did that when I was _ eight! _” Mara said. “I don’t think that makes you my fiance, Chandy.”

“I suppose we should probably move a little slower and use ‘girlfriend’ from now on,” Chandler mumbled, a bright red blush radiating on her cheeks. Mara let out an excitable giggle, hopping in place and her hands flapping around before she embraced Heather tightly. As Chandler began to giggle in a way that sounded both nervous and relieved, Veronica turned to Duke with a smug grin.

“Looks like _ someone _ gets to keep her twenty bucks,” she snarked. Duke scowled at her.

“Fuck you.”

“You _ did _ kiss me, you might as well go all the way.”

“What the fuck, _ no! _” Duke snapped, pushing a cackling Veronica away.

“You _ what? _” Chandler suddenly cut in.

“Hey, it’s only fair, since both of you stole our New Years kisses by kissing _ each other _,” Veronica said defensively. Chandler just smirked

“Was it good?” she said in a sultry voice.

“Shut up, Heather, it was a _ peck! _ ” Duke barked, while Chandler just cackled. Just then, there was a bright flash from outside, along with a loud bang. They all glanced over to the window.

“Hm, people are still setting off fireworks?” Veronica asked.

“Hey, we missed the fireworks at the Remington party!” Mara griped, linking her arm with Chandler’s. “Don’t suppose it’s too late to go and find another display?”

Chandler grimaced. “I mean… is there much point?” she said. “They’ll all be almost over by now.”

“There’s no harm in looking!”

Giving in, Chandler let out a sigh. “Okay, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not the biggest fan of fireworks,” she muttered. “At least, not up close.”

“You’re not?”

“They’re just too loud. Which is _ fine _, but it’s always so unpredictable when they go off. They just make me jump.”

“Oh! That’s okay,” Mara said. “We can see them pretty well from my house. Oh!” She gasped excitedly. “We’ll probably see a whole _ load _ of displays from the roof!”

Everyone slowly turned to give her a deadpan stare. She took a moment to realise why.

“There isn’t any ambush waiting on my roof,” she said calmly. “Nothing has to happen up there apart from all of us hanging out.” She looked at them all hopefully. “We don’t have to though?”

The group went quiet for a moment, before Chandler exhaled loudly.

“Okay, everyone grab a pillow or some shit,” she told them, before spinning around and walking out of the room.

“Um, what about you?” Veronica asked, giving her a quizzical look. Chandler looked back at her smugly.

“I’ll get some snacks, okay?”

“Sounds like you want something easy to carry up the stairs.”

“Bitch, I had a rough night, give me a break.”

“Hey, so did I!” Mara argued.

“Then grab your favourite blankets while _ I _ grab my favourite snacks, duh.”

With that, they could hear her walking down the stairs, and the three of them just gave a fond chuckle before hurrying to gather as many warm and soft blankets they could find.

* * *

“Oh, I love the whistling ones!” Mara chipped as they watched a distant firework let out a high pitched whistle as it swirled around in the air, before scattering along the sky.

“Me too,” Chandler murmured against Mara’s shoulder. “They don’t _ bang _.”

“Someone I know bangs a lot,” Veronica snarked, her chin resting on Chandler’s shoulder. Chandler whipped her head around to glare at her.

“You really think _ tonight _ is a good time for that joke?”

“I was referring to Mara!” she said quickly. “She has three girlfriends, and gained two in one night.

“I gained three in less than a week, mind you,” Mara boasted.

“As usual, everyone is doing better than me,” Duke sighed. “I only have one.”

“Hurry up and fall in love with me then,” Veronica said sweetly. Duke rolled over from where she was lying on Mara’s lap to stare at her.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“No, I’m joking.” _ I think? _ She pondered on it for a moment. _ I wouldn’t mind you kissing me again, is all I know. _

Duke returned to her original position of being tucked just under Mara’s chin, with her arms wrapped around her abdomen, holding her close.

Another firework flew into the sky, clearly from a different house than the last, this time exploding green glitter everywhere.

“I still can’t believe Heather’s gay,” Chandler mumbled.

“I complain about sex with guys all the time, why the fuck are you surprised?”

“I don’t know!”

“I for one am glad she is,” Mara said happily, resting her head on Duke’s, while wrapping the fluffy blanket she’d claimed for the two of them around them both more securely, wriggling into it more. Veronica found herself needing to do the same when she reached over to crunch on a chocolate-covered espresso bean.

“You’re going to get insomnia if you keep eating those, ‘Ronica,” Chandler told her, before purring slightly as Veronica pulled her closer, wanting to feel her warmth up against her.

“I’m okay with that,” she said, kissing just behind her ear, eliciting a giggle from her. “It means I get more time with you.”

“And me?” Mara asked, leaning over to her as to ask for her own kiss. Veronica chuckled and planted a peck on her nose, which was cold from the winter air around them.

“Of course.” She smiled, “Your nose is cold.”

“It is?” Mara reached up to tap it. “Oh, so it is.”

“Wait,” Chandler said, leaning over to plant her own kiss on her nose. “Did that help?”

Mara tapped it again.

“I’m afraid not, but I appreciate it,” she said with a smile. “It’s fine, I’ll just…” She looked at Duke, before burying her face in her fluffy black hair.

“I mean… yeah, that can work,” Chandler said, just as another firework shot up into the sky, this one purple. As the light scattered everywhere, Chandler turned to Veronica, her warm breath brushing over her lips.

“Hey,” she murmured. Veronica grinned.

“Hi.”

Chandler’s mouth twitched, before she spoke again, her voice soft.

“Thank you.”

Veronica arched a brow.

“For what?”

She nuzzled into the crook of her neck. “I feel a lot better,” she murmured, her fingers linking with hers. Her hand was freezing, but Veronica didn’t mind. “I’m glad I told you what happened, and I’m glad I told them too.”

Veronica smiled warmly at her. “I’m glad you feel better,” she said, kissing her forehead. “You deserve to feel better.”

There was a pause, and then a light kiss on her neck.

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course I do,” she said, running her fingers down her back soothingly. She shivered and gave a hum of content, kissing up her neck. “You don’t deserve other people hurting you like that.”

Heather stopped kissing her neck and lifted her head up from her shoulder, gazing into her eyes with glistening blue irises that were nothing but _ beautiful _.

God, her girlfriend was beautiful.

“Thank you,” she whispered against her lips. “I needed to hear that.”

“Of course.” She moved a little closer. “And if you ever need to hear it again, I’ll be here.”

“You better be,” Heather snarked.

“Wouldn’t dream of anything else, my love,” she chuckled. “Except for maybe Mara.”

Chandler bit her lip. “That’s understandable.”

Behind her, Mara gasped.

“You have sex dreams about us too?” She sighed with relief. “Good, I thought I was alone on that one.”

Chandler let out an embarrassed groan, her face flushing red, before she hooked her hand around the back of Veronica’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss to mute her laughter.

“Hey,” Veronica spoke when they parted, their lips still grazing over one another. “I love you.”

Chandler smiled contently.

“I love you too.”

She rested her forehead against hers.

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> the end of the tbarc !! mac out here flexing with her three gfs what the fuck
> 
> comments are always appreciated !! they give me motivation  

> 
> https://heathersgameoftag.tumblr.com/


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